Have you seen that movie?! 13 Going On 30 with Jennifer Garner. It's a classic.
While I am not 13 wishing I was 30, I am actually 30 and am thriving. I am not the naturally flirty type but the whole saying from that movie was too good to not use for this. It caught your attention, didn't it? ;)
I am a ponderer (made that word up), reflector, contemplative, deep-thinker, and sometimes ruminator (okay more than I'd like to admit). I am a lover of all things words, languages, books, vocabulary, and grammar. This comes as a surprise to...NO ONE! Leading up to turning 30, I have chosen to embrace those things about myself rather than wish them away. I used to wrestle big time with accepting those things about myself because I felt like I was "on the outside", weird, and not like some of my other friends. Comparison is a thief.
[Long side note: I talk about similar experiences of feeling on the outside from an ethnic and cultural background / upbringing, in my first published piece with an all German magazine, WildBlume (wildflower). This magazine was founded and started by my first roommate from Bible college, and she has since made it known that the 1st edition was put to print and distributed in cafes around Potsdam, Germany! Incredible and thank you Lord for using broken humans to minister to broken humans through words.
You can read my piece here (translate your web page to English): https://wildblumemag.de/eine-frau-drei-ethnien/ .]
It wasn't until the latter half of my 20's where I really started to embrace who the Lord had created me to be. The dreamer, deep-thinker, deep-feeler, creative and all; while celebrating who the Lord had created others to be and acknowledging their gifts.
Now that I am actually living in this next decade of my life, 2 weeks in, I have really come to love this age. I think because I've seen how fast life goes and have heard that it only goes faster (which is scary), I have intentionally chosen to embrace and celebrate rather than compare and be bitter. Now don't get me wrong. This doesn't mean my life is void of heartache and tears, but I am learning that my tears are more of a grieving what I thought life would be like at 30, versus comparing and feeding into the lies of the enemy.
Here is why I say, "I am 30...flirty...and thriving."
I love the 30 years of life and history Jesus and I have together (it's wild).
I love flirting with new dreams, ideas, and visions I have for the things I'm passionate about.
I love that thriving doesn't = success or money or fame but rather, am I loving God and loving others?
Looking back on everything the Lord has done in my life is overwhelming to me. But I sit here with the sunrise shining through my bedroom windows and an already finished cup of coffee on my nightstand, with three specific things that are monumental in my life:
My first Bible from 1998 with a letter from my Great Grandma that reads, "Kaila. Please read your Bible. It's God's love letter to you."
My Sunday School "Missionary Notebook" that says I will pray about becoming a full-time missionary from 2000.
The church program from the day I got baptized in 2002 (20 years ago?!?!).
It is wild to reflect back on my life and to see the sovereignty and divine intervention of the Lord over my entire life. It is wild to see how He has preserved me and kept me close to Him, despite heartache after heartache. It is wild to see the power of the Holy Spirit at work in the often small whispers. It is wild to see the faithfulness and obedience of other followers of Christ who have made an indescribable impact on my life to this day.
Great Grandma's obedience and faithfulness to the Lord as she babysat me and read the Bible with me until I was 10 years old.
My Sunday School teacher who showed up every week, even when I was the only kid in the class.
Family friends who knew me before I was born, who read the Scripture at my baptism and who have prayed for me everyday since January 8, 1992. [I see them once a year to this day.]
Will I be one of those people who are faithful and obedient to the Lord all the days of my life? Will I listen to His Spirit even when the world and culture say otherwise? Will I be faithful when it is hard? Will I be persistent in prayer?
What kind of legacy do I want to leave behind when I am no longer on this side of eternity?
I don't have all the answers but I do know that so far, at 30, this is what it means for me to thrive. Not because I am living how culture says I should or because I have reached a certain milestone by a certain age. Not because of where I'm at financially or what I'm doing in my career.
30 (and loving this life with the Lord...and don't forget...it's not without it's hardships too).
Flirty (about all of the dreams I have for writing, discipleship, and my home).
Thriving (in Christ and in my focus).
What's your age?
What are you flirting with?
Why are you thriving?
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