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50 Things I've Learned About Singleness

Someone in my Instagram stories gave me both fun and serious ideas about a 50th blog post. One of the more serious ideas was on writing about 50 things I have learned about singleness. I loved the idea!


Some of what I'll write down might feel like a big common sense flag, but at one point or another, I had to internally wrestle and do some work. Some of the 50 things will be serious and others will be practical and fun.


Whether you are reading this and you are single or married, divorced or widowed, separated or single-parenting... here's what I've learned about singleness:


  1. I am a whole person, by myself, just as I am.

  2. Don't wait to buy "the thing" (a house, nice silk pajamas, furniture).

  3. I need intimacy and connection in friendships/relationships.

  4. Don't not do something because "I'm waiting" (overseas missions, move states, pursue a career).

  5. I can eat at a restaurant alone and I'm going to be okay.

  6. Go and see a movie by myself.

  7. Buy the cute dress, lipstick, and block heels.

  8. I can dream big and make attainable goals for my life.

  9. I need to be in relationship/fellowship with those who are married and have kids.

  10. Life lived in community is so much sweeter, no matter how introverted I am.

  11. Show up to places, gatherings, events by myself and be a friend to someone.

  12. Embrace spending a holiday (Easter, Thanksgiving) with friends and their families.

  13. Do the thing...even if no one wants to do it with you.

  14. Put myself out there in social situations. Awkwardness is okay and expected!

  15. Travel and spend money on myself.

  16. Carve out time for me. It's not selfish.

  17. Buy the food/groceries I want. My body is worth taking care of.

  18. Pay for the degree.

  19. Save for the house.

  20. Buy new Christmas decor at Home Goods.

  21. Initiate with people, even if I think they'll say "no."

  22. Driving alone on a regular basis gives me space and time to make phone calls.

  23. Decorate my home how I want; not waiting "until I get married."

  24. Learn new things, even if it's scary. Call someone so I'm not alone in the new thing.

  25. Explore a new part of the city.

  26. Go to a museum or art institute. Wander for hours.

  27. It's okay to spend money on myself.

  28. Celebrate others in their seasons!

  29. Ask for help. Need.

  30. Establish healthy boundaries. It's okay to say, "No, I can't come this time."

  31. Only Christ truly knows the depths of my heart, wants, desires, and needs. I can't fully place those expectations on other people to understand or meet.

  32. There is beauty in the quiet and stillness.

  33. Invite people along. Don't do everything alone.

  34. Create traditions for myself (rock climb on my birthday, bake on Sundays, etc.)

  35. Serve God right where He has me. Stay in my lane. Don't compare.

  36. Different friendships add different beauty to my life.

  37. Invite people into my home for a holiday when I am not with family.

  38. I don't have to serve in every ministry or at every event just because "I have the time."

  39. My energy, resources, and time are valuable.

  40. I can buy myself new socks or underwear and not feel guilty.

  41. Not matter how old I am, I can call and ask my parents for help.

  42. Buy the nice bra that no one will see.

  43. Sitting alone is not the end of the world.

  44. Take that day trip to the beach or mountains.

  45. Give my life away. Serve. Love.

  46. Ask for a ride to the airport without feeling like a burden.

  47. Know what aisle the item is in at Home Depot before I go in.

  48. Google, YouTube, research, ask someone. I am not a burden.

  49. Being 'Auntie Kaila' is an absolute gift. I embrace this season.

  50. My identity is in Christ alone, not in my marital status.

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