At home I have tea every night before bed. It's a practice and a rhythm that tells my mind and my body that it's time to wind down; rest, slow down, stop striving, and to just be present in my environment. This physical act of winding down has created the space for me to be flexible with wherever the night leads.
It's allowed for:
Uninterrupted reading time
Long roommate conversations
Spontaneous dance parties
Movie nights with popcorn and laughter
Facetime with family or friends
Marco Polo with co-workers
Baths with a candle and a book
Cross-stitching while watching Netflix
It's not about the activity I do with the tea that I love. It's the physical reminder to my mind and my body that it's time to wind down and be present, which provides the space for me to engage in any of the above.
Since I do this at home, I decided to pack some tea for the summer and do the same thing. Because why not?! My time when I'm leading teams looks different than when I'm at home, but if I can still make tea during or after dinner while I'm with students, I am still communicating something important to them.
I'm communicating that you have my full attention in this moment over this meal.
I am not logging medical notes in my binder (that's reserved for breakfast and bed time). I am not on my phone updating social media or sending in team updates. I am not trying to get things checked off my long list of to-do's, or preparing food for the next day's cook crews.
I would sit down with my tea and my dinner and engage in one-on-one conversation with those nearest me. They were getting all of me in those small windows of time; the only time of day I felt like I could connect on a personal level, not just a "let me take your temperature" level.
They never failed to comment on my nightly tea routine, lovingly laugh about it, ask me what kind I was drinking, and then start asking me questions about my life or my day.
Create the space, in whatever environment you're in, to be present, open and available.
I don't know what that looks like for you. There's no one size fits all here. I don't know what season of life you're in and where this best fits into your schedule. But I can tell you that making the time and creating the space is worth it. No distractions.
I never did it for the praise or the affirmation, but I received a note of encouragement from an anonymous student this summer that said, "Thank you for making time to connect with us at meals. I love talking with you."
They notice. Your people in real life notice too.
These were my favorite times of the day when I was in Costa Rica. Now, don't get the wrong picture here. Not EVERY night was exactly like this. Sometimes I'd pour my hot water in my mug and then I'd have to whisk away to run an errand, buy bread last minute, care for a wound, or just listen to a student who needed to process. BUT.
The physical act of even just pouring my tea, my body knew it was time to change gears.
This gave me the space, mentally and emotionally, to be flexible with whatever came up. Whether that was a hard conversation or a conversation full of laughter and good food.
Sometimes our bodies need an actual act of switching gears.
Sometimes the people around us need it too.
And it doesn't just benefit you, it blesses others in the process.
Even if it's not seen.
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