Freedom comes at a price. It always costs someone something. So, free isn’t actually free.
How do we, God’s creation, experience true freedom when the very thing that we’re struggling with is how we were designed? Is it possible for women to fully embrace being a sexual being while also living completely free in Christ?
A part of being free in Christ is freeing our minds, hearts, emotions, thoughts, and souls from the lies that have taken a deep root in our hearts.
This allows the truths of who we are in Christ to be the lens through which we see ourselves through. Sexual brokenness doesn’t define a woman because they choose to believe that they have peace with God, a place with God, and share in His glory.[1] They also choose to bring their sexual brokenness into the light rather than living in isolation with it.
Another part of being free in Christ is being free from the chains one carries with sexual shame. A woman (or a man) cannot out-sin the grace of God. The truth of God sets them completely free.[2] No one is strong enough to remove sexual sin or the shame that accompanies it, on their own. Nor can they erase it.[3]
We need the healing touch, words, and truth that only Jesus offers; those enable us to walk in freedom and victory.
I remember being in high school small group asking for prayer in the most roundabout of ways. “I certainly could not share this. What would they all think of me? I was probably the only one so why bother?” It took too long for me to realize that there is actual power when we speak sin out loud to a trusted friend. My confession was met with words of healing, love, grace, and truth.
Find yourself one or two trusted sisters in the Lord who will carry your burdens with you, keep you accountable, and speak words of truth and grace. I’m praying for these sisters for you!
In a women’s battle against sexual sin, viewing her self-worth in relationship to her sin diminishes her spiritual strength to fight it.[4] She walks into the battle already weary without the fight because of how she places her identity in her sexual sin. Identity is where one places their value and worth.
If you're a woman who follows Christ, your identity and self-worth is in Christ.[5] You're called to represent Christ, not your sin.[6]
Women who are living in freedom from sexual brokenness are recognizing their position in Christ, renouncing shame, combatting lies, and declaring truth. No one can steal their spiritual identity, and having some form of sexual brokenness doesn’t change that.
A part of being free from the lies that bind is to speak them out loud for someone to speak truth into. Lies start in the mind and begin to affect other areas of life.
The chains and weight women carry with sexual shame and brokenness can feel suffocating, isolating, and embarrassing. Chains refer to anything that causes a person to lose his or her standard, purpose, and worship.[7]
“But God…..” He has complete veto power over Satan.[8]
Though she is still prone to sin because of her human propensity to sin, she need not carry the weight or shame around as if those things identify her being.
She is declared righteous in Christ.[9] She has the ability to not sin because of the Spirit who indwells her;[10] and when she does choose to sin, she picks the chains back up that Christ has set her free from.
Sexual sin has effects on the one who sins and those around her (or him). It can have an impact on how women relate to and interact with others, how they view sex, what they bring into their sex-life if they marry, how they minister to others, and how they teach their kids-if they have any-about sex.
Living a free life in Christ means not giving the enemy a foothold within sexuality, living in community with other believers, finding accountability, and submitting one’s self to the Spirit of God.
Shame’s words can appear true, but the truth is twisted slightly.
Shame uses the effects sin has on a person and attaches those effects to one’s identity.[11] Jesus frees women from such shame. He breaks down all barriers between the sin and the sinner; He bridged the gap and modeled a holiness of engagement not exclusion.[12]
Shame comes from Satan because Scripture states that he is the father of lies and when he speaks it’s out of his own character.[13]
There is a contrast between how Jesus approaches people with (sexual) brokenness and how Satan approaches people.
Jesus invites His creatures to come close and draw near, and Satan feeds lies, entices, and deceives. But there is no shadow for shame to hide beneath the cross; Jesus is safe.[14]
Being free starts with your identity.
Getting free starts with a conversation.
In the same way the (local) church has “normal” discipleship, rather than making sex/sexuality a taboo,[15] the (local) church needs to have sexual discipleship. If the church isn’t talking about it, those outside the church will.[16]
I went too long in life letting the opinions of others influence me. It’s when I turned to other sisters in the faith who were actively pursuing Jesus that I found true freedom, true healing, and the truest of the truths. That Jesus Himself sets me free, and I am free indeed.
Questions to Consider:
What would living a life of freedom look like for you?
In what areas of your life are you seeking to be free?
In what areas of your life do you need freedom?
What chains are you carrying around with you?
What’s hindering you from living a free life in Christ (today)?
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[1] Max Lucado, In the Grip of Grace (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 1996), 91, 92, 94. [2] Bruce B. Miller, Sexuality, Approaching Controversial Issues with Grace, Truth and Hope (McKinney, TX: Confia, 2015), 66. [3] Lucado, In the Grip of Grace, 59. [4] Ibid., 53. [5] Miller, Sexuality, Approaching Controversial Issues with Grace, Truth and Hope, 54. [6] Ibid. [7] Max Lucado, In the Grip of Grace (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 1996), 27, 29, 31. [8] Randy Alcorn, If God Is Good, Faith in the Midst of Suffering and Evil (Colorado Springs, CO: Multnomah, 1984), 53. [9] Ibid., 77. [10] Ibid. [11] “Shame,” Bible Study Tools, last modified 2019, https://www.biblestudytools.com/dictionary/shame/. [12] Debra Hirsch, Redeeming Sex, Naked Conversations About Sexuality and Spirituality (Downers Grove, IL: Intervarsity, 2015), 154, 155. [13] John 8:44. [14] Bruce B. Miller, Sexuality, Approaching Controversial Issues with Grace, Truth and Hope (McKinney, TX: Confia, 2015), 67. [15] Joy Pedrow Skarka, phone interview, October 7, 2019. [16] Ibid.
Resources:
1. In the Grip of Grace by Max Lucado.
2. Sexuality, Approaching Controversial Issues with Grace, Truth and Hope by Bruce B. Miller.
3. If God Is Good, Faith in the Midst of Suffering and Evil by Randy Alcorn.
4. “Shame,” Bible Study Tools, last modified 2019, https://www.biblestudytools.com/dictionary/shame/.
5. Redeeming Sex, Naked Conversations About Sexuality and Spirituality by Debra Hirsch.
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