(Read John 15:1-17)
I had only been in my home for 2 nights.
I was already tired of eating all of the unhealthy food I had consumed in the stress and anxiety of packing, moving, painting, hauling furniture, and taking 3.5 rolls of painters tape off every single nook and cranny. I decided it was time to actually cook a meal.
My favorite: tofu veggie bowl. Don't knock it till you try it!
I'm cooking in my "new" kitchen, watching a Christmas movie and my cutting board slipped as I was cutting, therefore my really really sharp serrated knife slipped and I ended up slicing my thumb wide open near the nail, and took a chunk out of the top of my middle finger.
Panic.
I had no idea who any of my neighbors were. I am in this new adventure of living alone. I know 7 people within a 2-3 mile radius of me and I HAD to call someone.
One of my former roommates came over after she heard the panic and tears in my voice, and I had already started to wrap my fingers the best I knew how; with paper towels and painters tape. Hey, it's what I had laying around at the time.
She finished cooking my dinner for me while I sat on the kitchen floor and tried to get the bleeding to stop. She pulled out her First Aid skills and cleaned, wrapped, and bandaged my two fingers, and by the time she headed out they started bleeding through the gauze.
Never have I ever been to Urgent Care by myself before, let alone at 7:30pm, but it had to be done. It's amazing the things we do when our adrenaline kicks in and we're faced with a choice.
I'll spare you the details but I walked out of there that night with a cauterized middle finger and 3 stitches in my thumb.
The healing process was painful.
It was my first time receiving stitches and I am sure it is no surprise that I cried! I couldn't feel anything of course, but those numbing needles will do a number on anyone. Even typing it out I get this weird feeling in the back of my throat.
But who said healing was easy? Painless? Quick?
The next day my fingers were throbbing! It was almost like I could feel my skin trying to come back together and repair itself. It was weird and also painful.
My stitches eventually dissolved and the knots became looser. When everything was out of my skin, I still had some dead skin around the wound. Since I had never had stitches before I wasn't sure what to do about that so I just let it be...until it started falling off and peeling up (gross I know, but facts). I made the decision to just cut it all off. I have no idea if that's what I was supposed to do but made the executive decision and just went for it.
Then I had a thought (let's be honest...I usually have many thoughts).
New skin cannot grow in its place unless I cut the old and dead skin off. I could see where I had fresh skin and where the dead skin began. I knew it wasn't going to reattach together so why leave it there? Something had to be done.
I cut away the dead skin.
And within a matter of hours...I could honestly see new, thicker skin starting to form where it was just bare flesh (gross again, I know).
Healing is often painful.
Growth is often long.
Cutting and pruning sometimes need to take place.
Without getting rid of the things that are dead, we won't see the new growth take place. And we can't do that on our own or in our own strength. We have to be connected to the Vine. We have to trust Him and His process.
We don't just let go of something and hope it works out by happenstance or coincidence. As followers of Christ we have a sure and steady hope (Hebrews 6:19). We know whom we are placing our trust in. We know to whom we are trusting our healing with. We know the source of our pruning and our healing.
Maybe there are unhealthy habits or coping mechanisms we keep going back to.
Maybe there are unconfessed sins we don't want to say out loud.
Maybe there are patterns, responses, and trauma we don't want to deal with.
Whatever that is or looks like in your life, you're not alone. I'm growing too. And thankfully we will always be growing so long as we're on this broken side of eternity.
Life is too short to hold onto the dead things, in the hopes that something will change.
Make the change with the help of the Spirit.
Cut the dead out with the help of the Spirit.
Make room for healing and growth with the help of the Spirit.
It's scary. I was scared. And as it relates to non-injury issues, the other areas of growth scare me sometimes too; emotional, mental, spiritual and relational. The good news is we are not alone nor does the Lord ask us to go at it alone. He gave us His Spirit for moments like these, and other people to bring alongside you.
If you're reading this and don't have a personal relationship with Jesus, I'd love to connect.
If you're reading this and don't have a community of people, I'd love to connect.
Don't cut off dead skin alone.
Don't grow or heal alone.
Invite the Lord into all of it, and some trusted friends as well.
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