I was an odd teenager.
Not odd in a bad way, just odd in your non-typical way. I did not enjoy typical things teenagers do at that age and stage of life. I disliked high school, never went to extra curricular activities, was not involved in sports, didn't go to parties, never went to a homecoming game, and could care less about clothes, makeup, and boys.
Like I said, I was an odd teenager.
I had been on one mission trip at this point and was heavily involved in my high school youth group. I spent most of my time at church, attended every youth group event, was always with either family or cousins, snuck away to read or write at family BBQ's, and sought out mentors, leadership roles, and ways to serve other people.
I didn't know this wasn't typical until I got older and started mentoring high school girls myself. I found it hard to relate to their high school experiences, while also fully relating to their high school experiences; hard family situations, fights with siblings and parents, divorce, separation, questions about how their sexuality and faith interconnect, identity, and trials.
I had to remind myself often that no matter my experiences or lack thereof, I was in their lives to foster growth in their individual relationships with the Lord, and to do that by sharing both my life and His Word. This heart for teaching truth began to well up inside me as they asked deep questions and desired to be taught God's Word. And I could not contain it. My heart felt like it was on fire (in a good way) every time.
It all started with a tiny interest in theology at age 15.
I remember the day my mom took me to Barnes N Noble. She said I could pick one book and I headed straight for the Christian section.
There were so many to choose from. I had given my life to the LORD the year prior and wasn't sure who was okay to read, what was okay to read, what voices to listen to, or where to even start. I had already been in the Word heavily on my own trying to understand the love of God; just some light thinking. I knew not a single thing about theology. I didn't even know what that word meant or its significance to my Christian faith. I just knew it was important and would help provide me with further study on God's love.
I picked up J.I Packer's Concise Theology and was captivated. Every and any topic I could think of was in here, including love, justification, sanctification, and glorification.
This was it. This was my one book.
I brought it to my mom and she said, "What's that?" I simply said, "It's a theology book." Her response, "You want THIS? Are you sure? Are you going to read it?" My reply, "YES! This is the one I want."
To this day, this little theology book not only still sits on my bookshelf and got me through parts of my undergraduate and graduate studies, it was the book that sparked it all.
My desire to know more about God, His character, the Bible, and all those big theology terms you might hear in church today. Don't let the big words trip you up. Their meanings are important!
Let's start here:
Theology: the study of God (the nature of). (We are all theologians).
Justification: our right-standing before God; declared righteous; eternally secure. (One time event).
Sanctification: the on-going process of being renewed and transformed to be more like Christ. (Continuous throughout life and this does not mean being sin-free).
Glorification: when we are united with Christ in eternity and are given our resurrection bodies; a final and full redemption.
"...And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?..." (Romans 8:30-31). [Read all Romans 8].
"Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it." (1 Thessalonians 5:23-24).
I never could shake this fire in me to study and learn more about the Bible and Theology. Hence going to Bible College and Seminary. I had no idea schools even existed where you could to study these AND earn degrees. I especially didn't know women pursued opportunities like Seminary. And here we are.
Is there a fire in you that you just can't shake? Is there something that lights up your eyes when you talk about it (ask your people...they'll know)? Is there a curiosity from a younger age you haven't looked into yet, researched, or told someone about?
I know it can sometimes feel weird and maybe like you're "the only one" but I promise you you're not. Tell someone about it today. Invite someone in on your thoughts, ideas, curiosities, and passions. And take one step in the direction of pursuing it.
Heck, you're all reading one of my steps: starting this blog.
The Lord can use it. Even the smallest of fires and passions you don't think are big deals. He used a 15 year old who was interested in theology (of all things you guys). And I get to use this passion in ways I didn't think possible; discipling girls and women, teaching students when I'm leading teams overseas, and even in this blog.
He can use anything. If you let Him.
[Guided Prayer]
Father, I pray you would show me what my next right step is with a specific passion you have given me. I pray you would show me what that area of passion is. I desire to use this for your glory and to serve others. Remind me that no thing is too small to pursue. Be in all of this with me. Help me to be faithful with what I have and to trust you with the process. You've given me passions for a reason and I desire to use mine for kingdom work. Guide and direct my steps.
In Jesus' Name, amen.
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