I can't speak for all the ladies who are single out there but I can speak to my own journey.
As a woman who is single and in full-time Christian ministry, I haven't known anything else. You see, I grew up in the church doing all of the things: Awana, middle school youth group, high school youth group, college group, and even a young adult group for a season.
I had leadership roles in the church as early as fourteen. Now these weren't formal, up front leadership roles but I knew I had some interpersonal skills and spiritual giftings that naturally made its way to leading through the means of listening, empathizing, communicating, teaching, and discipleship (although to me it was just building relationships with people).
As time went on I ended up in leadership roles I didn't necessarily chase after. I identify as an introvert and do not like being the center of attention or all eyes on me, but the roles I ended up in were usually along those lines; teaching others, speaking, leading worship (yes you read that correctly), facilitating small group discussions, and leading students in ministry in a different country.
It's funny how the Lord works and can sometimes use the very things we find uncomfortable to not only grow us and make us dependent on Him, but also for the good of others and ultimately His glory.
After high school I pursued a Bible and Youth Ministry degree. I was the first in my family to not just go off to college but the first to pursue any sort of ministry as a career.
All of this up to this point, I had never had the thought that I couldn't do something because of my marital status or gender. At times, being in Bible classes, Biblical language classes, and even youth ministry classes as 1 of the 3 women, I always wondered "why?"
Why weren't more women in these classes with me?
Why weren't more women in preaching and teaching classes with Dr. Neely?
Why weren't more women studying Hebrew? (I'll admit I did this solely for fun.)
Why weren't more women pursuing student ministry?
It was then that I started to question and wonder how a woman who is single could practically pursue any career in ministry; overseas missions, missionary, leading, teaching, shepherding, discipling, and evangelizing.
Would I be valued?
Would my voice be heard?
Would I be taken seriously?
Would I find a community of co-workers/co-laborers who were both single and married, but carried equal value and weight?
Rest assured, I did.
I went on to eventually pursue a Master's Degree in Biblical & Theological Studies from Seminary and thought, "Can I do this? Do women do this? Do women who are single do this?"
As I got deeper into my Seminary education, I was meeting women left and right who were just as passionate about some of the same things I was. I was encouraged and reminded that there are other like-minded women, in Seminary, studying Scripture and Theology, and using it for the good of others and the glory of God. Amen Hallelujah (I'm getting passionate). I saw both single and married women teaching from the stage during online chapel, teaching Seminary courses, and taking Biblical languages.
The fire in me had already been lit. But it was getting hotter and brighter.
Recently, I had a friend point blank ask me, "Can you tell me what it's like to be a woman who is single and in full-time ministry and overseas missions? Is it hard? Do you get asked a lot if you're going to get married or if you have a boyfriend? What are some tips or wisdom you have for me as I pursue a similar path?"
"Yes" to all of her questions. And that same night I did in fact get asked if I was dating anyone or wanted to get married. We looked at each other wide-eyed and laughed.
Some days it is hard and that depends on the situation.
Some days it is life-giving and I've been stretched in ways I thought would break me.
I'm talking specifically to my fellow women who are single here:
Seek Him. Spend time with Him. Pursue Him.
Find and do life in community with other believers.
Walk in the giftings He has given you, and the passions He's made known to you.
Do life with someone older and wiser, and bring them in to these areas of your life.
If we were sitting at the table in my kitchen I would look you in the eyes and say I'm in your corner and you're far from alone.
Embrace who God created you to be; female.
Pursue hard after Him in whatever season of life you're in; single or married.
Seek opportunities to make His Name known wherever you are; in the states or abroad.
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